Everyday Is Better Than The Next

When you turn on CNN what do you hear?  Do you hear someone speaking like George Bush, either of them?  Do you hear someone speaking like a lobster fisherman?  No, you hear someone speaking like a midwesterner.  The only true way to speak in the world is the way us midwesterners do it.  We don’t make our R’s soft and we don’t pronounce O’s like A’s or anything stupid like that.  We speak words as they were meant to be spoken.  I purport that people with accents, much like people who act like they’re always happy, are liars.  Why is it that Natalie Portman can be in a movie a speak as if she was from the middle of America and then in an interview she sounds like she’s fresh off the boat from Liverpool.  I’ll tell you why, she’s a liar.  She was born in Israel.  It’s this kind of deception that makes me angry.  Quit it Natalie, we don’t think it’s cool.