Everyday Is Better Than The Next

Everyone is probably pretty familiar with a man by the name of Billy Mays.  Originally made famous by hoching oxyclean, Billy has rose to fame selling many other fine household products, to the point to where he himself is almost as American as apple pie.  The man has a wonderful ability to sell things.  I believe that Billy could sell things to me that I don’t even want.  I’m even going to go as far to say that Mr. Mays might be able to turn me gay.  Yeah, I said it.  I have no aspirations to have any kind of sexual encounter with any man walking the face of this planet or even the face of another planet.  But I believe that with Billy’s unnatural ability to make the dim look bright, he could trick me into buying into homosexuality.  So, in closing, I plead to you Billy Mays… Please don’t try to sell me homosexuality because I don’t know if I’d be able to resist your sales pitch.