We are all going to die! I’m so sick of hearing about all of the things that could kill me that I often wish that one of these things really would kill me.
When I read about this kind of fear mongering bullshit, I am often reminded of one of Bill Hick’s routines:
I don’t understand anything so there you go…you know what my problem is? I watch too much news, man, that’s my problem, that’s why I’m so depressed all the time, I figured it out. I watch too much CNN, man. I don’t know if you’ve ever sat around and watched CNN more than, I don’t know, 20 hours in one day…I don’t recommend that. Watch CNN Headline News for 1 hour, it’s the most depressing thing you’ll ever fucking do: WAR, FAMINE, DEATH, AIDS, HOMELESS, RECESSION, DEPRESSION. WAR, FAMINE, DEATH, AIDS, HOMELESS…Then, you look out your window. “Where’s all this shit happening? Ted Turner’s making this shit up! Jane Fonda won’t sleep with him, he runs to a typewriter: ‘By 1992, we will all die of AIDS; read that on the air. I don’t get laid, no one gets laid!’” I’m writing Jane Fonda: ‘Will you fuck this guy so we can get some good news, please?’ I want to see a well-laid Ted Turner newscast: “Hey, it’s all going to work out. Here’s sports.”
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