Everyday Is Better Than The Next

I thought that I had such an action packed weekend that I should share it with any unfortunate person that actually reads this.

Friday:
Work wasn’t as bad as it normally is and seemed to breeze by. For the summer, and hopefully forever, I am going to be doing full time project work. This means not inspecting panels. Any job that involves not inspecting panels is a good job. During work I was talking to Josh about going to see The DaVinci code. He said that was a good idea so we had the women plan the night out. Of course they have to throw in “well let’s all go out to eat too…”.

We made reservations for Grant Street at 6:45. We went out to eat and had a good time, as usual me and Josh were drinking martini’s while our wives talked shit about us. The main topic this evening was Josh’s skills with the trombone. Towards the end of the mean we decide that we need to drink more before we go to the movie. At first we think it would be coole to re-live our youth a little and sneak booze into the movie. So we go to the liquor store and get a pint of J&B (Scotch). We go back to the house and and start drinking it while playing a game of cricket. We end up drinking the entire bottle before we even leave for the movie. Also, a side note of the story is that the game of cricket which lasted like an hour and a half came down to who hit the next bullseye. I thought that was kind of strange. I don’t think I have seen a game of cricket that close. And yes, I won.

We go to the movie and sit probably 20 feet from the movie screen. So here I am three quarters drunk with giant movie screen right in front of me. We are so close and it is so big that I have to lean back in my seat just to take it all in. As far as the movie goes I wasn’t all that impressed with it. I had already read the book, and the movie was just a flaming piece of shit. It should have never been a movie. I feel cheated. I wonder what Josh thought of the movie? Oh wait, he was passed-out-drunk about 10 minutes into it!

I get home and I’m not all that drunk anymore or tired so I play some poker and then fall asleep trying to watch some movie, which I can not recall the name of. And thus ends day one.

Saturday
I woke up around 9 and got some breakfast together. Kyla called me and said she was in Kokomo with Cory and she says she has a present for me. Around 11 she shows up with Subway, a new phone, and a badass new pair of rollerblades for me. While I’m eating I am looking at her new phone. It’s some crazy new phone that runs on Windows CE. It can do all kinds of shit that I don’t even know about. I am really starting to feel old when I can’t even fathom the kinds of things that are coming out these days.

After eating I strap on my new rollerblades and hit the road. This is where things turn weird. When I go rollerblading I go to the riverwalk, down it, and back home. Simple right? Not this time. As I’m going down the riverwalk I pass a guy with no shirt on that is walking all crooked, as I pass him I look back and notice that he appears to have both of his hands down his pants holding his junk. I just keep going. I get to the end and I’m coming back and run into my neighbor lady. We are talking about her dog (because that’s all she talks about) and I can see drunk guy in the distance walking towards us. At one point he falls over in the grass and lays there for a while. Another walks over to some little kid’s birthday party picnic and says something. This guy is just out of it. I get back to the beginning of the riverwalk and who do I see? It’s my friendly neighborhood police officer that I know J-U. They are there doing some kind of testing for the police. Jason Ballard is also there, apparently taking the test. I talk to J-U about the crazy drunk guy stumbling around. He says that somebody else also complained about the guy. As to not miss the action I decide to do a second lap. I head back down and pass him again. He still up to pretty much the same thing. On the way back I run into the neighbor lady again. We talk about the guy and as I look back at him I see him jogging down the riverwalk with a police car following him. Some of you may know what the riverwalk looks like, others do not. It is 2 asphalt paths that are about 3 feet wide and 3 feet apart, it’s not made for cars. The police are over the loudspeaker telling the guy to stop. He finally goes over in the grass, puts his hands on his head and falls straight on his back. I head home to ponder whether or not that really just happened.

I’m home for about 15 minutes and I see that Shaun called. I call him back. He says he wants to play some tennis. So he picks me up and we head to the courts. There are about 30 little kids there and the courts are full. Shit. But no need to fear we decide to go to Maconaquah park and shoot around. I realized something while shooting around. I can’t shoot around. I was completley missing the backboard and shit. It was horrible. I have to do something about that. I had enough with basketball for the day, so we tried the tennis courts again. This time nobody is there. We start playing and then about halfway through the match we were playing something weird happened. We suddenly became tennis all-stars. We were hitting badass shots and having back and forth battles. It kicked ass. I was so tired when we got home that I just wanted to lay down. That wouldn’t be possible.

Shaun takes me home and I find that I am locked out. I don’t have my phone or keys. I have Shaun call Kyla and Dan. No answer from either. I call Kyla’s parents house and Geoff tells me that Kyla is at a wedding. Wonderful, weddings are really short so she should be right home. Nope. I tell Shaun to go ahead and I will just mow the grass and do stuff till she gets. About halfway through mowing the grass in rolls Kyla. Turns out it was just a wedding shower. I finish mowing the grass and get to relaxing, but Kyla cuts that short and makes me man the grill. I wasn’t to happy about it, but it was nice out and I just layed in the chair while the grill did all the work anyway. Erin came over and ate with us. She is all excited about these two houses she is looking at. She has been looking for a long time and finally narrowed it down to two.

I wanted to maybe take a nap or something but that never happened. Dan came back and told me that he had been on an all day ride in which he had the only crotch rocket. His girlfriend came over later and we told her about the russian deathsquad that randomly takes people that don’t lock their doors. This was a joke about why Kyla locks the doors all the time. I just kind of played around on the computer until it was time to go to bed and tried to watch that Two for the money movie. I didn’t make it very far into it….

Sunday
I woke up around ten. Today’s goal was to clean the garage and the west fence. I got the garage taken care of pretty easily. I now have a little hang out dart playing area. It’s cool. Now my jeep and both of dan’s bikes can be in there and you can still play darts and hang out comfortably. After that was done me and Dan went to the hotdog stand. I rode his new R1 which I hadn’t rode yet. It was nice but the difference between a 600 and a 1000 is nill. We waited for ever at the hotdog stand, and the girl fucked up both of our orders. I don’t understand why they just don’t write it down. I mean I’m not impressed that this dumb high school blonde can remember my order, because she always proves to me that she can’t remember it. Anyway after we ate he went somewhere else and I went back to the house.

Next on the list, clean the fence. It looked way harder than it actually was. I finsihed it in about an hour. I was feeling so motivated that I took out the old grill that was sitting there. The porch actually looks a lot bigger now without it sitting there.

I finished all that right at 4. I had a freeroll poker tournament that I had qualified for to play in. I thought all right. I can just sit around and play poker or a couple of hours. I was in this tournament for about 15 minutes. I was getting screwed one hand after another. People kept drawing me out and then slowing playing monsters. I got destroyed. With nothing to do I started playing Warcraft 3.

Kyla called about 3 games later and said to come over for dinner. Ok, sounds good. I’m getting ready to get in the shower and I hear Dan walking up the stairs slowly. He tells me he needs a new pair of jeans and some ass cream. Apparently he was trying to ride a wheelie on John’s 4-wheeler and caught it on the wheelie bar. He had a patch of road rash on his ass about the size of his hand. And don’t worry, I took a picture of it. You can see it [here]. That was probably the funniest thing I have ever seen.

I get to Kyla’s and eat. I made sure to tell everyone the story of Dan’s ass and show them pictures of it. Geoff rips my ass for not doing anything with those mushrooms he gave me. I felt kind of bad about that, but I have been busy. I talked to Erin about her heathen kids. Then I head back to the house. And that’s where I sit right now. I have to say that I had a lot more to type about than I thought that I would.