Everyday Is Better Than The Next

At 5:29 p.m. a man near Business 31 and Riverside Drive told the PPD his home was broken into and he had just located his safe floating in the Wabash River. The call was handled by another police agency.I a question about this one. What kind of safe floats? When I think of safe, I think large metal box that is unlikely to float. If you have a safe that floats, I’m betting it’s not very safe.

At 6:22 p.m. a woman in the 200 block of East Main Street in Bunker Hill told the MCSD while digging in her back yard she found a tombstone.

Have you evern watched the movie Pet Cemetary? Ya, it’s kinda like that.

At 3:57 p.m. a caller from the 100 block of West Third Street told the PPD juveniles were skateboarding at this location and were messing with the funeral home’s handicap ramp.

Oh, those punk kids with their skateboards are at it again. Out there “messing with” the handicap ramp. Tell me what does “messing with” involve, and does it necessitate calling the cops? Whatever happened to running out and chasing off the skateboard kids with a “Hey you damn kids! Get the hell out of here!”

At 6:10 p.m. a caller from the 500 block of West Main Street told the PPD his missing dog was returned home and put on its chain like it was never gone.

Again, why is there a need to inform the police about this? The dog was gone, it’s back, no harm done.

At 6:37 p.m. a caller from the 200 block of Blackhawk Court told the PPD help was needed with an unruly nine-year-old.

This has to be my favorite. How unruly can a nine-year-old possibly be? I can’t imagine a nine-year-old could get out of control enough that a firm bitch-slap, a jab, and a left hook wouldn’t bring him down a notch or two.