Everyday Is Better Than The Next

It has now been roughly 29 hour since my last cigarette. I have to say that it’s not all that bad. This time I came into it with an attitude of “I’m going to quit smoking”. Last time it was something closer to this “I want to quit smoking”. Come to find out, I didn’t really want to quit all that bad. This time, I do.Now let’s talk about addiction, what a crazy thing it is. I have been addicted to cigarettes for roughly ten years. In the beginning smoking was fun. I remember the first cigarette I ever smoked, I was so dizzy I thought I was going to puke. There was just something about that little dizzy feeling that I use to get when I was smoking. After the fun of cigarettes wore off it, and that little buzz you got stopped coming, the idea of cigarettes enhancing things started to come into effect. For example: after meals, after work, after school, after basically everything. 10 years later, cigarettes are no longer enjoyable. The joy has been replaced by pure addiction, and the wicked games that addiction plays with your head.

For those that don’t know, nicotine is the addictive substance in cigarettes. I’m no expert on addiction, but I can share with you my experience and thoughts on it. When we need to do something our brain has a subtle yet effective way of telling us. How do you know when you are hungry or thirsty? How do you know when you have to go to the bathroom? In my case, how do I know that it is time for a cigarette? I think this is best described by a “nudge” our brains nudge us and tell us that it’s time for something. Something like eating, drinking, smoking, shitting or whatever. This nudge is almost an unconscious thing because we are so use to our brains doing this to us that we don’t think much of it. But the next time you decide that you should eat, stop and ask yourself how you knew that. It’s a feeling like somebody kind of putting their hand on your shoulder and whispering in your ear.

As I sit here writing this, I bet i have been nudged three or four times. I can seriously almost here the voice. “Hey after you are done writing this you can go smoke”, “Hey, break is in 3 minutes. You should go outside and smoke”, ect. Sometimes the nudge will catch me off guard and for just a split second I think “Yes that’s good idea.”

If you want to experience something similar, hold your breath for as long as you can.

-After about ten seconds you start getting a nudge. Your brain kind of reminds you that breathing is nice, and you remember the feeling of how nice it is to breathe. This is the feeling that I think most relates to smoking or even being on a diet. It’s uncomfortable, but bearable.

-After about 25 seconds. Your brain starts really getting serious with the nudges. Pain signals are sent out, your face begins to turn red, a gasping reflex is turned on and you begin to feel it in your throat. Somewhere between this step and the next is where I would put the withdrawal symptoms from drugs such as cocaine, heroine, or even maybe alcohol.

-Somewhere around a minute, depending on how long you can hold your breath, this nudging takes control of your body and you are forced to take a breath.

Anyway as I sit here and think about nudging, I can’t help but think of easy this actually is. When a get a nudge just say no. I also think about how much worse it could be. Can you imagine being so addicted to a substance that your “nudging reflexes” begin to take over your body just to get what it wants? That is a scary thought.