The computer? The microwave? X-Box? No all of these technological feats pale in comparison to the all-mighty robot. I know what your thinking right now. R2D2, C3PO, The Jetsons, AI, The list goes on and on, but I’m not talking about a mechanical humanized thing kind of robot. I’m talking about the dance move. Yes, everyone is familiar with the robot. Who hasn’t witnessed some drunk on the dance floor at a wedding reception doing the robot? I myself have been known to break out the robot if given enough whiskey.
The Robot - The robot came about in the mid to late 80’s and is held on a platform for it’s technical skill. Many can do the robot, but few can do it well. It consists of putting both hands in a karate chop looking stance and then moving them around in jerky motions much like an actual robot would. Facial expressions and feet movements are for advanced roboters only. I wouldn’t attempt them if you are just beginning. Status: Alive and well.
The Running Man - This move was mad popular in the late 80’s and early 90’s. The idea behind this one is to appear that you are running, but you don’t actually go anywhere. It’s tragic death came about two years later when it was determined that this dance move was just stupid. I mean really, running in place? How “cools” can that possibly be? Status: Dead, although occasionally revived when preceded by “remember this?”
The Scuba Diver - This move come into it’s time when two 16 year old California girls decided to combine their skills of “going down” and “scuba diving”. I can’t really back that story up with any proof, but it’s believable so let’s go with it. To perform the scuba diver you want to hold your nose and kind of duck while shaking your head back and forth. Needless to say this was just kind of a cool trick to show your friends. You: “Hey check this out, it’s called the scuba diver” Friend: “Hey that’s the lamest ass shit I’ve never seen” Status: Dead, parole denied.
The Cowboy - It’s hard to put a time frame on this one because rednecks can’t read or write to well so the recorded history of The Cowboy is a nearly non-existent. Used primarily by drunken uncles and white trash, the cowboy is used to say “Hey, I’m having a good time here. To perform the cowboy move one in a lasso motion above your head while the other is grabbing your crotch and moving up and down. The Cowboy can often be heard before it is actually spotted. Let’s look at an example. Ambiguous sound: “YEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAWWWWWWWWW” Person 1: “What was that?” Person 2: “Sounds like somebody just broke out the cowboy.” Status: If there is a full moon, beer is being served, and loud country music is playing be on the lookout a cowboy is certainly in the mix.
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